The French Journal

Le p'tite couronne and the Life of Animals

This week's video success story in France belongs to a comedy troupe, Le P'tite Couronne, which has created a series of blackout sketches for the web. They have landed a contract to provide material to MCM, a French music video channel. If you don't speak French, don't worry; the above clip of "The Life of Animals, as seen by Men" has no dialogue.

The name is literally "The Little Crown," but I believe "couronne" can also have the sense of a belt of city districts. Not quite "The Little Neighborhood Group," but close.

Rerun: An absolutely fabulous wine truc

As the week sinks slowly into the west, let's share a (blurry) wine tasting in France with Pats and Eddy...

Santé!

A TFJ current events quiz

Want to know what's important on the French news scene? You're in the wrong place. However, this little quiz will help you to converse about matters of no importance.

1.  Recently, President Nicolas Sarkozy's name has been linked romantically to:

     A.  Journaliste Laurence Ferrari

     B.  French government Minister Rama Yade

     C.  The U.S. House of Representatives

2.  Meanwhile, Sarkozy's mom has these thoughts about her son's love life:

     A.  He shouldn't remarry.

     B.  He should try to reconcile with Cecilia.

     C.  He should post a profile on Skyrock.

3. A recent survey in L'Express identified this as the best place to live in France.

    A.  The Aude department

    B.  Paris

    C.  Louis Garrel's bedroom

4. A French government official has attempted to have what remains exhumed and returned to Paris?

   A. Those of Napoleon III

   B. Those of General de Lafayette

   C. Those of the Socialist Party

5. At one time in their lives, all adult French people have had this experience. It is: 

    A.  A smack on the bottom

    B.  A request from an American for a restaurant recommendation

    C. An under-the-counter payment to Jacques Chirac

Answers after the jump. Sources include the BBC, The Times (London), Frogsmoke, Expatica, and HomesWorldWide.

"Le Grande Thanksgiving" - Redux

Almost finished with the added activities of the last few days. For now, in honor of the time of year, let me repeat an entry:

Thanksgiving is here, so to mark the holiday, may I suggest you read this wonderful piece by humorist Art Buchwald: Le Grande Thanksgiving (a.k.a. Le Jour de Merci Donnant). (Registration may or may not be required.) As Buchwald explains our traditions, he notes that today may be the one day of the year when Americans eat better than the French.

And I, too, should give thanks -- to ex-pat baby booming blogger Polly Vous Francais, whose site brought the column to my attention (and who bought me a couple of glasses of wine the other day).

Truc: Punchline of the Day

While reading the book about American tourists in France, We'll Always Have Paris, by Harvey Levenstein, I came across this fact:

"Previous studies show(ed) that 20 percent of American high school students thought Joan of Arc was related to Noah..."

French Journal headlines

Footnotes to the big picture:

• Princess Di trial comes to Paris. (BBC) Once again. As soon as this inquest is over, with its expected decision of no wrong-doing to match the dozens? hundreds? of others, The French Journal will launch its own investigation, as part of an effort to keep this matter in the headlines for at least 35 more years.
• Crime! Monet painting damaged at the Musée d'Orsay. (TTC/AFP) The perpetrators have been positively identified -- as drunken louts who thought they were in the Quai Branly and doing a public service.*
• Crime! $14-million in jewels stolen from Harry Winston. (Expatica/AFP) Sharon Stone swears she was watching the World Rugby Cup at the time.
• Le Roi Lion opens in Paris. (BBC) Now the French can discover that all of the imaginative staging still doesn't change the fact that it's about a lion cub growing up.
• French farmers pose nude for a charity calendar. (AFP) Luckily, part of the profits from the Dieux du Stade calendar also goes to charity, so you can make a better choice and be guilt-free.
• The Smart Car comes to the U.S. Saw one on the streets of Boston this morning. The cuteness begins!
• Separated at birth. Last night, as I watched The TV Set on DVD, I wondered, "Who exactly does Ioan (The Fantastic Four) Gruffudd remind me of?"

* = Lest this be misunderstood, I think the artwork at the Branly is terrific. The museum...not so much.

The French Journal Week in Review

1. Sarko meets Bush, but Cecilia cancels due to sore throat. Given that Bush had a stomach flu at the G8, armchair therapists like me are analyzing the psychological underpinnings of the two events, and we'll be watching their next pow-wow to see who throws up first.
2. Bush serves Sarko hot dogs and beans for his visit. No wonder Cecilia became sick; she probably read the menu.
3. Sarko will return to the U.S. at least two more times this year, plus make trips to Moscow and Peking. Remember when you got your first car, and you drove everywhere, just because you could? In any case, be prepared. Someday, when you least expect it, at your doorstep, who might show up but none other than...
4. Franska, the marauding bear, dies when hit by a car. Coverage of the bear's demise in France almost equaled that of the deaths of Cardinal Lustiger and Baron Elie de Rothschild, which implies that you, too, could win headlines by killing a few sheep. (Note to Headline Hunters: This is a punchline, not an actual recommendation.)
5. The Discovery Channel team which sponsored the winner of the Tour de France will disband. The good news is a number of pharmaceutical companies may step up. No payback expected. Really. Honest.
6. French teenager arrested for his unauthorized translation of "Harry Potter 7." But his English teacher paid the bail and gave him an "A."
7. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes turned away for admittance at a Saint-Tropez nightclub. They had heard Franska's usual spot was up for grabs, but no go.

The top ten reasons that Sarkozy is vacationing in New Hampshire

New Englanders like me are slightly puzzled by Nicolas Sarkozy's choice of vacation spots, since Lake Winnipesaukee has a reputation for motor boats buzzing loudly during most hours of the day and night. Motivations become clearer if you view this clip of a tour of the incredible house where he's staying, which co-incidentally had been taped last summer by a local news channel. Nevertheless, in the interest of getting to the bottom of the story, through a massive number of interviews and intensive investigations, I have been able to determine the top ten reasons that French President Nicolas Sarkozy is vacationing in New Hampshire. They are:

1. Sarkozy is running low on Polo shirts, and it's a quick day trip to the Kittery Outlet Mall. (Direct Sarkozy quote: "Honest to God. Due to the exchange rate, I can cover a third of the house rental with the savings.")
2. There are some local Hungarian families, so he can investigate his roots without actually having to visit any Eastern bloc countries.
3. By the end of the vacation, he's hoping to earn the new sobriquet, "Speedboat Sarkozy."
4. His wife Cécilia can slip away quietly to her next diplomatic mission in Canada. She aims to solve the Quebec issue by autumn. (Truthfully, the house where they're staying is so big that she may need diplomatic clearance just to walk from the bedroom to the kitchen.)
5. He thinks the easiest way to entice America into joining the European Union will be state-by-state. (Early reports having him spending Christmas this year in Louisiana.)
6. Conservative aides believe that there's little chance of Sarkozy running into under-utilized members of the Socialist Party in NH and offering them any jobs.
7. Wolfeboro is a respectful distance from the Bush vacation home in Kennebunkport. (On the other hand, it's not really that far away, George. George? Are you listening, George?)
8. If Sarkozy does get an invitation to Kennebunkport, he can fulfill a promise to British PM Gordon Brown and retrieve a pair of prescription sunglasses that Brown left behind last week. (Brown's actual words: "I mean, only if you're in the area...don't use it as a pretext or anything like that.")
9. To Obama, John E., Mitt, Rudy, Hillary & Bill (especially Bill): If you happen to be campaigning near Wolfeboro, President Sarkozy would like you to know these words: Chateau Petrus 1982. You put it together.
10. And the most important reason that Nicolas Sarkozy is in NH this week: Junior senator, Granite State, 2018.

David Sedaris talks pretty about life in France

The official French tourist site, FranceGuide, corraled writer/humorist David Sedaris for an interview about his life in France. Sedaris is the dry wit behind such best-selling books as Me Talk Pretty One Day, (a title that refers to his attempts to learn the French language), and he splits his time between an apartment in Paris and a farmhouse in Normandy. The informal Q&A has its own share of laughs, such as Sedaris's take on the differences between French and American concepts of friendship:

"...in France, in Normandy especially, people are really stand-offish. You can walk by someone’s house, and they’ll be sitting in front of their house, and they’ll just turn away. But if you meet them at a dinner party, then they know you. Then, you don’t want to walk by their house, because you’re going to have to talk to them. And if they have you over to their house for dinner, and you go—and then you have them over to your house for dinner—you’re stuck with them for the rest of your life. It’s like getting married or something. So I prefer the American way, where you call somebody your friend: You meet somebody, you go out to dinner or something, you run into a third party on the street, you say, “Yes, this is my friend Donna.” And then you never see that person again. That’s beautiful to me. That’s perfect. That’s the way it should be. But French people don’t understand that at all."

Commentary: Telling France What to Do

(Once upon a time, The French Journal was not simply news and information, but also included an occasional commentary. Here, after a sleepless night, is a return to that format which I'll probably regret tomorrow.)

The advantage of long distance love affairs is that you get to idealize the object of your affection. My trips to France are sufficiently orgasmic for me not to see any flaws. My loved one is perfect. Don't ever change.

But when I read the coverage of the French elections, I have some trepidations. The nasty press, like a gossipy neighbor, tells me that France may be restless and unhappy, despite my ardent attention.  And the press knows exactly what France needs to do.